Email Chains

Everyone knows that being on a softball team breaks down as:

5% crushing High Lifes

10% travel

10% playing softball

75% emailing 

Needless to say I'm a pretty solid dude to have on the chains as evidenced by some of my work below.

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Yo boys,

 

 

Tomorrow's game is at 9:15 but I was thinking we all meet up after work and get hammered. I'm off all day because I'm kinda in-between jobs now (fucking George W Bush fucked me so bad I swear) but I know you guys get off around 6? 

 

 

Want to meet at Leo's Pub at 6:15? They have wings and if you ask the barback about HOT SAUCE while rubbing your belly he'll go outside with you and do a line of coke in that old phone booth. I did it last time and aside from the nose bleed it was fucking awesome. 

 

Aight let me know bitches. 

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YOOOOOOOOO,

 

just heard you guys are all going away to Jason's wedding on Friday? any chance I can snag a ride? I never technically got an invite (so i don't know where the address is) but I asked him straight up and he was like "oh ya man it's a real small thing." obviously that means I shouldn't tell anyone else, I'm not an idiot. 

 

 

Anyways. just got a new ipod and my 311 mix is sick as shit. If anyone has a tie that'd be dope as well. I'm gonna head to the corner of Sixth and West Ave at 6pm. I'm wearing a throwback Pop Warner Brian Urlacher jersey. 

 

You'll see me.